Theoria Marriage and Family Counseling is a Los Angeles based private practice founded by Jacob Kajiwara M.S., LMFT.

Theoria is an Ancient Greek word meaning “contemplation” or “a looking at.” Rooted in philosophy, it speaks to the practice of slowing down to deeply observe and reflect. In Aristotle’s thought, theoria was the highest form of understanding—an intentional, thoughtful way of engaging with life’s deeper questions.

At Theoria Marriage and Family Therapy, this spirit of reflection guides the work: creating space to pause, explore, and gain clarity.

Hi, I’m Jacob Kajiwara, LMFT.

How I am different from other therapists:

  • I am direct but compassionate.
    I’ll ask the hard questions and help you examine the patterns that keep you stuck. I’ll challenge you to sit with difficult truths and uncomfortable emotions—while holding a space that’s grounded in softness, warmth, and care.

  • I’m intentional and attuned.
    Not just to your words, but to your body language, tone, and silence. I’ll help you move beyond insight alone, guiding you to integrate your awareness and turn it into meaningful change. I invite you to ask yourself: what is the difference between intellect and awareness?

  • I am confidently human—imperfect, but real.
    I’ll laugh with you, sit with you in grief, and swear on occasion. I try my best to show up as myself because I believe in the power of authenticity—especially in moments of vulnerability. My goal is to model what it looks like to be grounded, honest, and self-assured, even when things feel uncomfortable.

  • This work is personal to me
    The areas I focus on aren’t random. They’re personal. I’ve struggled with the same issues I now help clients work through: attachment, anxiety, people-pleasing, self-worth, identity. I’ve done my own work in therapy and continue to do it. That lived experience—combined with clinical training—means I don’t show up as an expert above you, but as someone who gets it and knows how to help you move through it.

  • Yes, we’ll talk about your past—but we won’t live there.
    I won’t make everything about your childhood, but I also won’t ignore it. Your early experiences shaped how you move through the world today—how you relate, protect yourself, and make sense of who you are now. We’ll explore the past only as much as it helps you understand the present and make meaningful change moving forward.

The clients I work with want a therapist who:

  • Is relatable, conversational, and real

  • Challenges them with care, not judgment

  • Helps them bridge insight with action

  • Has lived experience in their struggles

An Open Letter

As a Korean-American adoptee, my early life was shaped by grief, identity loss, and confusion around family attachment. These themes lingered just beneath the surface — present enough to notice, but difficult to fully integrate. I coped through people-pleasing, persistent anxiety, emotional numbness, unhealthy relationships, and a quiet longing to both belong and disappear. At 15, I began therapy.

“Healing” didn’t happen all at once and this journey continues to be an experience of meaning making and intentional action. Through therapy, meaningful relationships, and deep self-reflection, I gradually developed a sense of purpose and direction. My journey toward self-acceptance has been anything but linear — marked by both uncertainty and growth. Over time, I’ve learned to meet that uncertainty with curiosity, clarity, and confidence.

This path has shaped not just who I am, but how I show up as a therapist. I bring a deep respect for human resilience, a lived understanding of identity exploration, and a belief in therapy as a space for honesty, complexity, and transformation. I don’t believe therapy is about “fixing” you; it’s about helping you become more fully yourself.

My approach is person-centered, conversational, and grounded in humanistic and trauma-informed values. I am trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), and mindfulness-based approaches. With these approaches, it is my hope is to help you not only understand yourself but to feel more capable, self-compassionate, and in-control. Together, we create space for you to grow, heal, and build resilience — so you can navigate life’s challenges with greater clarity, strength, and heart.

I work from the belief that secure attachment within the therapeutic relationship creates the safety needed for growth. My approach is deeply relational, values-oriented, and humanizing. I believe that identifying and examining your personal values can bring the decisiveness and conviction necessary to move forward. I also believe that finding genuine acceptance of the self— your worth, your personhood — can bring profound relief from the “stuckness” many clients feel.

More often than not, the way you criticize yourself is not only hurtful but deeply unfair. When we look closer, we often find that these judgments are adaptive and protective — and that your seeming “deficiencies” actually make perfect sense in the context of your life. As Viktor Frankl (Psychologist and Holocaust Survivor) said, “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”

Human beings are incredibly adaptive, and while the strategies you’ve developed may no longer serve you, they are a powerful testimony to your resilience.

Our time together will be conversational yet goal-focused, with an eye toward the larger patterns and needs you bring. Many of my clients are high-achieving, highly motivated intellectuals who mask a deep and unexplored sensitivity — they come to therapy wanting to bridge the gap between intellectual knowing and emotional awareness. The outcome is the ability to respond more effectively in relationships, navigate difficult emotions with confidence, and embody a truer, more congruent sense of self.

Personally, I believe this work often involves revisiting and renegotiating emotional wounds, internal expectations, examining how cultural, social, or familial norms may have created unrealistic or misaligned expectations in your life. Clients often know the work is “working” when they notice a shift: from anxious uncertainty to a sense of capability in the face of uncertainty, from self-doubt to self-trust, and from chronic overthinking to a willingness to sit with discomfort without being overtaken by it.

Ultimately, the goal is to help you show up more fully as yourself. Because (while I may be projecting a bit) few things are more painful than disappointing yourself, both in your external life and your internal world.

Thank you for reading a little bit about my story, I look forward to hearing yours.