Acceptance and Nonjudgment: Two Keys to Emotional Well-Being

May 25

Imagine this: You wake up anxious about a big work presentation. Your heart races, your stomach churns. “Calm down, what’s wrong with me?” you berate yourself, wishing the anxiety away. Later that day, you spill coffee on your shirt and mutter, “I’m so stupid.” By evening, a friend cancels plans and you feel a pang of sadness, immediately thinking “I shouldn’t be this upset.” In each of these everyday moments, two powerful tools could transform your experience: acceptance and nonjudgment. These terms often pop up in mindfulness and therapy circles – and while they sound similar, they have distinct roles in emotional well-being. Embracing both acceptance and nonjudgment can soften our emotional struggles, bringing more compassion, openness, and flexibility into our lives.

A moment of mindful acceptance can feel like a deep breath for the soul. By calmly observing our inner experience without fighting or judging it, we create space for peace and insight to emerge.

What Is Acceptance? (Allowing Your Inner Experiences)

Acceptance means willingly allowing our thoughts and feelings to be what they are, without trying to push them away or “fix” them. It’s a stance of openness toward internal experiences – even the uncomfortable ones. In psychology, especially in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), acceptance is about dropping the struggle with our emotions. Instead of avoiding or suppressing distressing feelings, ACT encourages us to let them exist without resistance or avoidance. In other words, rather than spending all our energy saying “I shouldn’t feel this” or “this feeling is unbearable,” we acknowledge “I feel what I feel; let me give it permission to be here.”

This might sound counterintuitive at first. Why would we allow anxiety, sadness, or anger to stick around? The surprising truth is that fighting or denying our pain often makes it worse. Psychologist Carl Rogers observed that “the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Acceptance is not about liking what we feel, but about recognizing that the feeling is here and that’s okay. In fact, the practice of “radical acceptance,” a skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), is specifically designed to keep pain from turning into suffering. We can’t always avoid pain – losses happen, mistakes happen, emotions flare up – but we suffer far more when we refuse to accept those realities. By accepting the facts of reality (anxiety in our body, a loss that happened, an emotion that’s present) instead of throwing an inner tantrum about how things “shouldn’t” be this way, we prevent extra anguish.

Consider a small everyday example of acceptance in action.

Marissa, a college student, often experiences intense anxiety before exams. In the past, the moment she noticed butterflies in her stomach, she would think “No, I can’t be anxious. This is awful. I have to calm down right now!” She’d berate herself for being nervous, which only added a layer of self-criticism on top of the anxiety. The more she told herself not to feel anxious, the more panicky she became. Then Marissa learned about acceptance through a mindfulness course. The next time an exam approached and her heart started pounding, she took a different approach: she took a few deep breaths and silently said, “I see you, anxiety. I’m going to allow you to be here, even though I don’t love it. I know you will come and go.” She noticed the tight knots in her stomach and acknowledged “I feel afraid, and that’s okay – it’s my body trying to help me.” By allowing the anxiety instead of fighting it, Marissa found that the wave of nerves passed more quickly. She still felt anxious, but it didn’t spiral out of control; in fact, the acceptance gave her enough mental space to review her notes one last time, calmly. Acceptance softened her experience: the anxiety was present, but it wasn’t compounded by a battle against herself.

Crucially, acceptance is not the same as resignation or passivity.

It doesn’t mean we approve of a bad situation or that we plan to do nothing about a problem. What it does mean is pausing to acknowledge reality as it is, so that our response can be grounded and effective. A classic teaching in DBT is that “radical acceptance is NOT approval”. You can accept that “I lost my job” or “I feel hurt by what happened” without approving of the situation – you simply recognize it is the current reality. By fully facing what is, we actually free up energy to figure out what to do next. As the HopeWay Center describes, denying or resisting reality (“this isn’t fair, it shouldn’t be!”) keeps us stuck in bitterness and anger, whereas choosing acceptance helps us move forward and cope. In Marissa’s case, accepting her anxiety paradoxically made her more able to study and perform. In life, accepting a painful loss or setback can open the door to healing or problem-solving, whereas getting caught in “it shouldn’t be this way” can keep us spinning in emotional turmoil.

What Is Nonjudgment? (Seeing Without Labeling Good or Bad)

If acceptance is about allowing experiences, nonjudgment is about the attitude we take toward them – an attitude of open curiosity rather than harsh evaluation.

To be nonjudgmental means not labeling our thoughts, feelings, or ourselves as “good” or “bad.” It’s a stance of observing what’s there without the usual running commentary of criticism or approval. In mindfulness practice, this is foundational: as meditation teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn famously defines it, “Mindfulness means paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.” That is, we notice what’s happening (in our mind, body, or surroundings) and we just notice – no immediate label of right/wrong, positive/negative. “No judgment. No labeling as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Just stating the facts,” as one therapist explains.

For example, if you’re feeling a tightness in your chest and a lump in your throat, simply note “there is tightness, there is a lump” instead of “I hate this anxiety, it’s bad”. Or if you made a mistake at work, notice “I made an error in the report” rather than jumping to “I’m such an idiot.” Nonjudgment invites us to step back and see our experience with a bit of neutrality and kindness, as if we were a curious observer of ourselves.

This nonjudgmental stance is a key “attitude” taught in mindfulness-based therapies and in DBT skills. In DBT, clients learn to take a nonjudgmental stance, meaning observing facts about a situation or feeling without adding evaluative opinions. Psychologist Marsha Linehan, the creator of DBT, emphasizes seeing reality as it is (even our messy emotions) and not adding the second arrow of judging ourselves for it. Why? Because judgments tend to amplify suffering. When we label an experience as “bad” or “wrong,” we usually create a story around it – “I shouldn’t feel this, what’s wrong with me, this is terrible” – which breeds shame and distress. In contrast, simply observing “I feel X” or “Y happened” without judgment keeps us in contact with the reality of the moment, but without the extra drama.

An example.

Meet Carlos, a young professional who prides himself on doing everything perfectly. One day, Carlos receives constructive criticism from his boss about an error in his project. Immediately, a voice in his mind goes: “Ugh, I messed up. I’m not cut out for this – what a failure.” This is judgment at work: he isn’t just recognizing an error; he’s labeling himself negatively (“failure”) and coloring the whole experience as bad. What happens next? Carlos feels a wave of shame and frustration. In response to those feelings, he begins mentally berating himself: “Stop being so weak, get it together.” By the end of the day, he is utterly deflated, anxious, and unable to focus on improving the project – his self-judgment has snowballed into a motivational crash.

Now imagine Carlos practicing nonjudgment. He hears his boss’s feedback and notices his heart sink. He takes a slow breath and acknowledges, “I’m feeling disappointed and scared.” He gently reminds himself to stick to the facts: “There was a mistake in the project that needs fixing. Mistakes happen. Let’s see what I can learn here.” Whenever his mind tries to shout “I’m awful” or “This is the worst,” he labels that as just a thought (“I notice the thought that I’m a failure”) and lets it float by. In doing so, Carlos isn’t denying responsibility or pretending everything is fine – he’s simply refusing to judge himself for being human. With the harsh labels set aside, he actually feels a bit of relief; his emotions of disappointment are still there, but he’s not pouring gasoline on the fire by calling himself names. This frees him to focus on a solution: he asks a colleague for help understanding the critique and spends the evening revising his work.

Nonjudgment has a remarkable way of short-circuiting the cycle of self-criticism.

Research shows that when we stop bashing ourselves and instead approach our mistakes or shortcomings with compassion, we tend to be less stuck, and often more motivated to improve. By contrast, harsh self-judgment usually leads to a depressed mood, higher stress, and lower self-confidence. We might assume that judging ourselves harshly will whip us into shape, but studies have found the opposite: self-criticism triggers our threat response (fight-flight-freeze) and can make us shut down or avoid challenges. In one article aptly titled “Self-Compassion Or Self-Criticism: Which One Really Motivates You More?”, the author notes: if beating ourselves up were truly effective, wouldn’t we all be perfect by now? Instead, people who practice a nonjudgmental, self-compassionate attitude tend to have greater resilience and motivation. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, finds that those with a kind, nonjudging mindset toward their own flaws are more willing to keep trying, have high personal standards, and show more courage in the face of failure.They aren’t complacent – they’re actually engaged, because they aren’t wasting energy feeling ashamed or “not good enough.”

It’s important to clarify that nonjudgment does not mean the absence of discernment. Sometimes people worry, “If I stop labeling things as good or bad, won’t I lose my moral compass or become passive?” Not at all. As Kabat-Zinn explains, being nonjudgmental doesn’t mean you become stupid or stop noticing problems. You still see clearly what is beneficial or harmful, but you do so without the extra layer of reactive condemnation. For instance, you can recognize that a certain behavior of yours isn’t healthy and choose to change it, without calling yourself a bad person. You can acknowledge that you prefer certain outcomes or values (it’s natural to have likes, dislikes, ethics) – the key is not to instantly condemn every deviation from those preferences as a personal failure. Nonjudgment is sometimes described as “being an unbiased witness” to your own experience. You observe, then respond with discernment, rather than reflexively judging and reacting out of that judgment. In Carlos’s scenario, nonjudgment allowed him to discern “there’s an error to fix” and take action, instead of drowning in “I’m terrible.”

How Acceptance and Nonjudgment Work Together

Acceptance and nonjudgment are like two sides of the same compassionate coin, and they often reinforce each other.

Both are core principles in mindfulness-based therapies, and both help cultivate what one might call an “emotional softness.” Instead of meeting our inner difficulties with hardness – tension, anger, shame – we meet them with a soft, allowing, and understanding approach. This softening is not weakness; it’s the flexibility and warmth that allow us to bend without breaking.

Evidence-based practices have embraced these concepts because they truly help reduce human suffering. In ACT, for example, clients build psychological flexibility by learning to accept emotions without judgment and commit to meaningful actions. This reduces the futile internal battles and frees people to live by their values even with uncomfortable feelings present. Research supports ACT’s effectiveness – for instance, a meta-analysis found ACT significantly reduces anxiety and depression symptoms, in part due to its focus on acceptance and mindfulness. Similarly, DBT, which was originally developed to help people with intense emotional pain, emphasizes a balance of acceptance and change. DBT’s radical acceptance skill teaches that accepting pain (without judgment) is what turns it from unbearable suffering into pain we can live with and move through. Clients are taught to say “It is what it is” about the things they cannot change, in order to redirect their energy toward what can be changed. Studies on interventions teaching acceptance have found they can increase emotional resilience – negative emotions have less grip on us when we stop fighting them. In fact, practicing mindfulness and acceptance has been linked to improved emotional regulation and even physical health benefits, like lower stress hormones and reduced chronic pain impact.

Nonjudgment, as a facet of mindfulness, also shows up in research as a buffer against stress.

When we habitually judge ourselves and our feelings, we create internal stress and reactivity. Mindfulness training helps people learn to “undercut” this habit, leading to less anxiety and anger. One reason judges, veterans, and others in high-stress jobs have taken up mindfulness meditation is to cultivate this nonjudgmental awareness, because constantly evaluating and criticizing (whether others or oneself) is exhausting and stressful. By practicing being present with what is, without the filter of “good/bad”, people experience more calm and clarity. Over time, this attitude fosters self-compassion, where instead of immediately shaming ourselves for every mistake or emotion, we treat ourselves with the same understanding we’d offer a friend. That self-compassion – essentially acceptance + nonjudgment turned inward – has well-documented links to greater mental health, resilience, and satisfaction in life.

Another way to look at acceptance and nonjudgment is that together they cultivate emotional freedom. You learn that having a feeling doesn’t mean the feeling has you. You might think of difficult emotions like a storm in the sky: if you accept that the storm is there and refrain from labeling it “bad” or fighting it, you can let it blow through without panicking. The sky doesn’t judge the storm; it knows the storm will pass. Likewise, you can observe an angry thought or a wave of sadness within you and remind yourself it’s just part of the human experience – not a verdict on who you are. This perspective creates a gentle detachment: you still feel the emotion, but you also have a bit of space from it. That space is where wise responses and healing become possible.

Addressing Common Objections and Myths

Despite the proven benefits, people often have very human objections to these ideas.

Two common fears are: (1) “If I practice acceptance, won’t I become passive or complacent?” and (2) “If I stop judging myself (or drop my self-criticism), won’t I lose my drive to improve or do the right thing?”

Let’s tackle the first concern: Acceptance as complacency.

It bears repeating that acceptance is not giving up. It’s not “fine, I’ll just suffer and never try to change anything.” Rather, it’s accepting the current reality so that you can choose the best path forward. Think of a time you faced a health issue, like a sprained ankle. If you refuse to accept it (“This can’t be happening, I’m going to run this 5K anyway”), you might ignore the pain and make things worse. If you accept it (“Okay, my ankle is injured and needs care”), you can then make a sensible plan – maybe visit a doctor, rest, and gradually rehab. Similarly, if someone is in a toxic relationship, accepting doesn’t mean staying in it; it means first acknowledging the reality (“this relationship is harmful”) without denial. That clear-eyed acceptance can fuel effective change, like setting boundaries or leaving – whereas a lack of acceptance (“it’s not that bad, or it shouldn’t be bad”) keeps one stuck. One therapist notes that accepting painful events “in a nonjudgmental way can open up the possibility of trying something different, something better”. In other words, true acceptance of reality often sparks positive action, because we’re no longer wasting energy fighting the fact that the problem exists.

In ACT, there’s a saying: “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” We can’t opt out of all pain in life, but by accepting what we cannot change, we do opt out of the extra suffering that comes from rumination, denial, and rage at reality. Far from complacency, this mindset gives us strength. As one DBT clinician explains, acceptance frees up all the energy we were using to fight reality, and lets us redirect it toward coping and growth. It’s like the emotional equivalent of judo – instead of meeting force with force and getting exhausted, you conserve your strength and then use it in a more skillful way. So, acceptance is not passive resignation; it’s an active choice to face life as it is. And paradoxically, once you do that, you’re in a much better position to change things or to change yourself. Even in terrible situations, people find that a moment of acceptance (“this is what’s happening”) brings a measure of peace from which they can decide how to respond next. It’s when we refuse to accept reality that we often feel most helpless and overwhelmed.

Now to the second concern: Doesn’t self-judgment and inner criticism drive us to be better?

Many of us have internalized the belief that we need to be hard on ourselves to succeed – that a stern inner drill sergeant yelling “Not good enough! Do better!” is the only thing keeping us from slacking off. At first glance, it might seem that way; fear and criticism can sometimes push us to achieve in the short-term. But the cost is high: chronic self-judgment erodes our mental health and sustainable motivation. As we saw, research indicates self-criticism mainly succeeds in making us more depressed and stressed. It activates threat and shame, which are states of mind that narrow our ability to learn and adapt. Think about a child in a classroom: does the child learn better from a teacher who calmly guides and encourages, or from a teacher who constantly insults and scolds? We are no different with our inner teacher. Criticism might make us momentarily jump into action, but it also makes us anxious and fearful of failure, which can lead to procrastination or giving up.

Now consider the alternative: a stance of nonjudgmental self-compassion. This doesn’t mean letting yourself “off the hook” in the sense of ignoring mistakes. It means when a mistake happens, you refuse to indulge in the extra punishment of self-shaming. You treat it as you would if a good friend made the same mistake: you’d acknowledge it and kindly suggest how to improve, not rub their nose in it. Research by Dr. Kristin Neff and colleagues shows that self-compassionate people are actually more likely to have high standards and pursue their goals – they just do it from a healthier place.They know it’s okay to be imperfect, so failure isn’t the end of the world or a blow to their self-worth; it’s a chance to learn. This creates a “growth mindset” where they remain curious and resilient, rather than a “perfectionist mindset” paralyzed by fear of not being good enough. In short, gentleness can be far more productive than harshness. By dropping the heavy judgments, we can keep striving because we want to, not because we’re whipping ourselves to.

Let’s revisit Carlos, our perfectionist professional. If Carlos stops judging himself as a failure and instead accepts “I made a mistake, but I’m still learning,” he is not going to suddenly become lazy. More likely, he’ll feel relieved and motivated to improve the project, fueled by a desire to do well rather than a fear of being worthless. Or think of someone trying to exercise more: if every skipped workout leads to “I’m so bad, I have no discipline,” how long can they keep trying? But if they take a nonjudgmental view – “I missed today’s session, that’s okay, I can start fresh tomorrow” – they’re more likely to get back on track the next day. In fact, one Michigan State University review noted that people often resist self-compassion because they fear laziness, yet the research shows the opposite: self-compassion increases motivation and perseverance. Judgment and self-berating are not the super-fuel we assume them to be; kindness and acceptance are far more sustaining in the long run.

Cultivating Emotional Softness: Gentle Practices for Daily Life

By now, you might be wondering how to actually bring acceptance and nonjudgment into your own daily routine. The good news is, these are skills you can practice – and small practices, done consistently, lead to meaningful changes in how you feel. Here are a few gentle ways to start cultivating this emotional softness:

Mindful Breathing with Allowing: Take a few minutes in the morning or evening to sit quietly and focus on your breath. As you inhale and exhale, notice any feelings or thoughts that arise. Practice allowing them to be there. If you feel anxious, you might silently say to yourself, “It’s okay, anxiety is here; I don’t need to push it away.” If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the breath without criticism. This simple exercise builds the muscle of acceptance – you are training yourself to coexist with your experiences without immediately trying to control them. Research shows that such mindfulness practices can make it easier to accept emotions rather than struggle against them.
Label Your Thoughts – Without Judgment: Throughout your day, see if you can become an observer of your own mind. When a judgmental thought pops up (e.g., “I’m so scatterbrained today” or “This meeting is going horribly”), take a step back and mentally note it as, “Ah, a judgment.” You don’t have to believe it or engage with it. Let it pass like a cloud. This technique, sometimes called cognitive defusion in ACT, helps you see thoughts as just thoughts, not absolute truths. By noting the content without judging it, you lessen its power. For instance, if you feel sadness and your mind says “This is bad,” note “judging thought... sadness present.” Then try to simply feel the sensation of sadness in the body without the “bad” label. This takes practice, but over time it builds tremendous freedom. As one mindfulness teacher quips, you even learn to not judge the fact that you’re judging! – you can catch yourself in a judgmental spiral and gently say, “Oops, judging happening,” and move on.
Compassionate Self-Talk: Next time you face a personal setback or notice you’re emotionally overwhelmed, experiment with responding as if a dear friend were in your shoes. Instead of “What’s wrong with you? Get over it,” try something like, “This is really hard right now. Anyone would be struggling. You’re doing your best; what would help you?” This kind of self-talk embodies both acceptance (acknowledging it’s hard) and nonjudgment (not shaming yourself for it). It might feel awkward initially, but it powerfully shifts your mindset from critic to ally. Studies have found that this self-compassionate approach increases people’s willingness to grow and change for the better. You’re more likely to persevere when you know you have your own support.
“Leaves on a Stream” Visualization: This is a popular ACT exercise for practicing acceptance and nonjudgment. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and imagine yourself beside a gently flowing stream. Each time a thought or feeling arises, picture it as a leaf on the water. Place the thought on a leaf (for example, “I’m so frustrated” goes on a leaf) and watch it float downstream and out of sight. Do this with pleasant thoughts, unpleasant thoughts, neutral thoughts – no judgment or holding on. Some leaves you might really want to grab (like a worry you feel you must solve) or shove under the water (like an upsetting memory), but instead practice just letting them all drift by. This visualization trains the mind in both acceptance (letting thoughts/feelings be) and nonjudgment (not getting tangled in whether they’re good or bad). Many people find that after doing this for a few minutes, they feel calmer and less entangled in their mental chatter.
Journaling Without Editing: Another practical tip is to spend 5–10 minutes writing in a journal about what you’re feeling or thinking, but do so with a rule: no self-censoring and no judging what comes out. This is for your eyes only, so let it be honest. If you write “I feel angry at so-and-so” or “I’m scared about this change,” practice just acknowledging it on the page. If a judgmental thought arises like “Gosh, I’m petty” or “This is dumb,” write that down too – and perhaps put a parentheses like (that’s a judgment) next to it. By externalizing your stream of consciousness in a safe way, you practice accepting your internal experience. The key is afterwards, treat what you wrote with kindness: recognize that whatever is on those pages is a part of you at that moment, and it’s valid to exist even if it’s not pretty. Many find that this uncensored journaling leads to insights and emotional release, because you’ve allowed your truth to be seen without judgment.

Embracing a Softer Way of Being

In the hustle and pressures of daily life, adopting acceptance and nonjudgment can feel like a radical act of self-care. It’s like telling yourself: “It’s okay to feel what I feel. I’m going to stop the war inside my own head.” Over time, this attitude builds an inner safety – you become someone who can handle emotions with grace, because you no longer immediately label yourself bad for having them, nor do you immediately push them away. You learn to respond rather than react. This doesn’t mean you’ll never feel pain again, nor that you’ll never slip into a judgmental thought (you will, and that’s okay too!). But it does mean that when pain comes, you have an approach that can soothe and resolve it rather than amplify it. And when judgments arise, you have the awareness to catch them and the choice to let them go.

Think of acceptance and nonjudgment as skills of emotional Aikido – a gentle art where you deflect the extra suffering and stay centered. A wave of grief, anger, or anxiety can knock us down if we meet it with stiff resistance or harsh judgments. But if we meet that wave with a soft gaze and open arms – “I see you, come rest here if you need” – the wave eventually subsides, and there we remain, intact and perhaps even wiser. By allowing feelings to move through us (acceptance) and not whipping ourselves for having them (nonjudgment), we create a life where there is more room for joy and meaningful action, even amid the ups and downs.

In closing, remember that these approaches take practice. Be patient with yourself. Some days you might effortlessly shrug off an annoyance with nonjudgmental grace; other days you might find yourself cursing at traffic and then criticizing yourself for losing your cool. When you catch yourself judging or resisting, that moment is a perfect time to practice – you can smile (or sigh) and say, “Ah, a part of me is judging again; can I accept that I’m human and start over now?” Every time you choose acceptance over avoidance, every time you choose curiosity over judgment, you are strengthening the pathways to emotional well-being. Over weeks and months, you may notice you’re not as easily thrown by life’s challenges. That nagging self-critical voice may soften. You might bounce back from setbacks a bit quicker. These are signs of emotional resilience taking root – the very “softness” that is strong and enduring.

Ultimately, acceptance and nonjudgment teach us a beautiful truth: that we can be on our own side, even when life – or our own minds – get rough. We learn to treat ourselves and our experiences with the kind of gentle acceptance we’d offer a beloved friend. And from that soil of kindness, so much growth is possible. We become more emotionally flexible, more compassionate, and more free. As you go about your day, maybe carry these questions with you: What am I feeling right now, and can I allow it? Can I view this moment without jumping to label it? In practicing these, you are not turning into a passive bystander of life – you are becoming the wise, loving author of your own experience, writing your story with understanding and care. And that can make all the difference in the world.

References:

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. – ACT encourages allowing distressing emotions to be present without judgmentpositivepsychology.com, helping reduce the struggle and fostering psychological flexibility.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2002). Mindfulness Meditation. – Mindfulness is defined as “paying attention… in the present moment, non-judgmentally,” meaning no labeling of experiences as good or badplymouthmentalhealth.com.
Cuncic, A. (2024). Verywell Mind. – Radical acceptance, a DBT skill, means accepting situations outside your control without judging them, which can reduce the suffering they causeverywellmind.com. It’s about acknowledging reality as it is, not about approving of itverywellmind.com.
Harris, A. (2024). HopeWay Blog. – Radical acceptance is designed to keep pain from turning into suffering. By accepting reality fully (without tantrums or willful denial), we free ourselves from getting stuck in bitterness. It “is not rolling over to be helpless,” but recognizing that fighting reality only prolongs painhopeway.org hopeway.org.
Counseling and Mediation OK. (2021). Practicing Nonjudgmental Acceptance. – Nonjudgmental acceptance allows thoughts and feelings to be there “without struggle or evaluation,” which can minimize the impact of negative emotions and build emotional resiliencecounselingandmediationok.com counselingandmediationok.com. Acceptance isn’t tolerating forever or giving up; it’s a choice to make room for whatever happens, so you can respond to life more flexiblycounselingandmediationok.com.
Lein, A. (2025). PositivePsychology.com. – ACT-based approaches show that accepting thoughts and feelings without judgment, rather than fighting them, helps reduce issues like anxiety and depressionpositivepsychology.com. Mindfulness practices in ACT encourage observing internal experiences without judgment, making it easier to accept emotions rather than struggle against thempositivepsychology.com.
The Happiness Doctor. (2020). Self-Compassion vs. Self-Criticism. – Excessive self-criticism backfires: research shows it leads to depressed mood, higher stress, and lower self-confidencethehappinessdoctor.com. In contrast, self-compassion – approaching your failures and pain without judgment – tends to be a better motivator. It’s associated with a mindset of learning from mistakes and persevering, rather than shaming yourself into changecanr.msu.edu.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are. – Clarifies that nonjudgment doesn’t mean lack of discernment. We still see what’s happening and what needs change, but we do so without the extra layer of “I’m bad” or “this is awful.” We cultivate discernment – seeing things clearly – without the cloud of reactive judgmentnowaboutmeditation.com. This attitude helps us respond to life’s events with wisdom rather than knee-jerk reactions.

Jacob Kajiwara